'Connectedness', Not Discipline -- Love, not the Stick -- Leads to
Better Childhood, says American Psychological Association Fellow
To: National Desk
Contact: Bob Weiner, 301-283-0821, for Dr. Theron Alexander, Ph.D.
WASHINGTON, April 8 /U.S. Newswire/ -- Love -- not the 'stick' -- is
how to raise a child, asserts child psychologist Theron Alexander, Ph.D.,
in his new book, 'A Better Childhood Without Discipline' (book graphic
Dr. Alexander, an American Psychological Association Distinguished Fellow and San Francisco-based clinical psychologist, says "connectedness" makes discipline unnecessary in raising children. "Where discipline can bring about only temporary obedience through rules and threat of punishment, connectedness forms the basis for long-term results," Alexander asserts. "The absence of discipline does not imply a lack of caring and guidance. Rather, it is the creation of trust and a parent's belief in a child. This teaches the child that he or she can depend on the parent for support."
Alexander points out that in today's world where families have so little time together, there is nothing more important than forging a lasting bond. Children who feel a lack of connection to parents will often misbehave to attract attention. Punishment and fear only serve to deepen their resentment.
Alexander makes a cogent case that when "connectedness" becomes a key factor in families' daily lives, disciplinary measures such as rules, limits, or punishment become unnecessary; without it, children go awry. The book features several real-life stories, including:
- LARRY: Larry, an eleven year-old boy, found a gun on his way to school. Though the police and school principal did not believe Larry when he said it was not his gun, Larry's father stood by him rather than rushing to judgment. Ultimately, it was proven that the gun had been discarded by a robber and turned out to be valuable evidence to the police. What the child learned was that he could always be confident in his father's belief in him.
- LESLIE: Leslie stood waiting with his father to cross the street. When Leslie repeatedly tried to step into the street, his father would jerk him back. Finally, in frustration, the father spanked Leslie, and the child began to cry. Instead of punishing Leslie, his father could have taken the opportunity to teach his son how to safely cross a road.
- SUSAN: While grocery shopping with her mother and older brother, two-year-old Susan became eager to get out of the shopping cart. Despite several attempts to gain her mother's attention, Susan was ignored, and started to cry. Her mother told her to be quiet, and then returned to pretending not to hear the child's cries. That evening, when their mother called them to dinner, Susan and her brother kept playing. The children had learned to ignore others by their mother's example.
A BETTER CHILDHOOD...WITHOUT DISCIPLINE
by THERON ALEXANDER, Ph.D.,
Xlibris-Random House Ventures.
Paperback $19.94, Hardback $29.69, eBook $8.00.
Sites through which book may be purchased include
Xlibris.com (888-795-4274), Amazon.com, and BarnesandNoble.com.
For more information or for author interviews, please contact
Bob Weiner/Robert Weiner Associates at 301-283-0821.
/U.S. Newswire 202-347-2770/
Copyright 2002, U.S. Newswire